TJ Maxx Is Spying On Me!

Today, I was studying peacefully in the basement lounge of the law library at Wayne when a normal-looking student-aged man walked in. He asked for two quarters to make a phone call with b/c his cell phone wasn't working, I told him I didn't have any change, and he began to leave the room. I prematurely thought that this normal interaction was at an end. Wrong... oh was I wrong.

He turns back around and walks towards me while saying "I know I don't know you, but..." which was terrifying - was he going to finish the sentence with "... maybe I can diddle your bajinko" or "... put the lotion in the basket" and then keep me locked away in a hole in the ground and wear my skin as a suit?

Instead, he said something I never would have predicted. Ever. Really. NEVER. In short, he said that TJ Maxx was spying on him... what I pieced together from his rambling was that he made some sort of complaint to TJ Maxx headquarters about his work environment (btw, he is a TJ Maxx employee). Since that complaint, the managers have told other employees to refrain from speaking to him because he was a threat to the company. Additionally, TJ Maxx bigwigs sent people dressed in blue to install cameras and microphones inside his house in Beverly Hills, MI. He even showed me his I.D. to prove he lived there. It was hard to read it as my mind was figuring out a possible escape plan as well as reviewing self-defense tactics I learned at flight attendant training (my coffee was no longer hot enough to throw in his face and make a difference), so I can't really tell you if his I.D. in fact read 'Beverly Hills'.

So anyway, these cameras were apparently installed in every room of his house, even in his closet. He told me that TJ Maxx is using information gathered from his house, including his closet, to make him and others believe he is crazy. He even gave me examples. Here's a gem: As he rode the Woodward bus from 14 Mile last week, a fellow bus-rider that boarded at 12 mile was wearing a plaid button-down shirt that was the same make and model as the one he has had sitting in his closet for years. At 10 mile another passenger got on wearing his old pants (as he grabbed a loose area of his pants and shook them for emphasis). At 9 mile, he noticed someone in the same boots he was wearing at that very moment! Coincidence? He thinks not.

Here's more evidence (that I didn't ask for): this morning when he left his house he discovered green and brown paint that TJ Maxx's goons strategically painted outside (he wasn't specific as to where - a tree? the driveway? a neighbor-kid's face?). These two colors have shown up on everyone today - the janitor cleaning the upstairs of the Law building, three students leaving the library, and someone else, I can't remember, but they were all paid to do this by TJ Maxx. When was this memo sent out? I have green and brown clothes, where's my money??

This crazy man then told me how he went to a spy store in Southfield and was only encouraged by the owner of this shop to seek the truth, because he is probably just as paranoid and unhinged as this freak-ball. Finally, after ~30 minutes of delusions, he apologized for interrupting my study time and informed me that he was just trying to spread awareness. Awareness that someone is always watching me, you, him, everyone, but not to be scared.

What a fruitcake! Who wants to go bargain hunting at t-t-t-TJ Maxx?? "You should go"®